Best Trip Ever / Maan's Pamamanhikan

Of  Tuna Sandwiches

Dean: Para san uli yung Diatabs? Kailangan ko eh.

Carlo: May cr ba dito?

Prof. Joey: Nakita ko pinakain nila sa *whispers* yung tirang tuna spread.

Carlo: Oh may hike uli, baka itapon nanaman ni Joey yung cucumber.

Me: Malapit na ako magtayo ng tuna sandwich business.

Prof. Joey: Dapat sa bundok ang location mo para wala kang competition. 

Of Man's Bestfriend

Marvin: Pwede ba ang gulay sa aso?

Patrick: Oo. Chocolate lang naman ang nakakamatay sa aso eh.

Dean: Pera nalang kung saksakin mo. Tignan lang natin kung hindi mamatay 'yan.

Prof. Joey: Ba't naman diyan pa sa gitna ng kalye nagkamot yung aso.

Dean: Sa sobrang kati kasi okay lang kahit mamatay na siya, makamot lang.

Of Male Homosexuality

Dean: *gestures Oh no you didn't hand gesture*
Me: Galing mo. Sana naging bakla ka nalang.
Maan: Please?
Marvin: Pasaway ako nun sa work eh. Di ako pumapasok. Sabi ng boss ko, ibibigay daw niya ang lahat pumasok lang ako.

Of Dean's Age

Dean: Grabe. Akala ni Carlo at Prof. Joey 26 na ako.
Me: Bakit? Ilang taon ka na ba?
Dean: *walks out*

Of MJs

Dean: Ano feeling ng high?
Maan: Habang nagkkwento ka, alam mo yung sa movies? Yung naka timelapse yung mga boring and insignificant scenes, parang ganon.
Dean: Wow. Boring and insignificant? That's me! Ako yun! Guys, ba't niyo pa ba ako sinama?

Hike to Mt. Palay Palay/Pico de Loro

Jump by Van Halen up and under. Fade from black: Maan, Marvin, Dean and yours truly in a circle: serious, silent, avoiding eye contact and stretching without team coordination. Eye contact commences. Cut to group laughter.

The hike was at Mt. Palay Palay in Maragondon, Cavite where the famous Pico de Loro is located on the fateful day of the 28th of September.

From our meet-up point, we, the awesome foursome rode an fx to Ayala costing Php45. From Ayala we rode a bus to get to Coastal Mall which cost Php12. We then rode another bus headed for Ternate, Cavite at Php82. Next mode of transport was a tricycle headed for DENR Maragondon costing Php300. Registration fee cost Php20 and about an hour into the hike we had to pay another Php25 registration fee for the community.

The trail was conveniently easier compared to that of Mt. Sembrano's. The pressure of having to reach the summit and getting down from it in 3 hours, as was the fastest time of one of Marvin's hikes with his friends was what was daunting.

We occasionally stopped to eat banana and talked about a wealth of topics: How Ebe Dancel's music is solid, the PDAF scam, politically apathetic students revealed by an episode on WOTL, Barangay Elections, a recently discovered extreme sport called bouldering, social science experiments, mixed-martial arts, marathon running, yoga, the belief in aliens and douche-bags at the office.

Upon reaching the summit, at 664 meters above sea level,the monolith -a giant rock formation shaped as its name -Parrot's beak is instantly seen along with the view of Caraballo Mountains northward, Nasugbu Batangas due south, Maragondon to the east and South China Sea due west.

I've set my mind to not climbing the monolith and true to my word, I didn't and was in charge over watching our belongings while my three compadres braved it.

Five minutes into waiting alone, another group of four people stumbled upon me whilst I was waiting under my umbrella, they were Rod, Carlo, Prof. Joey and Jessie. A group of people our age, with better camera. :)

(c) Prof. Joey

Both groups were instant friends and we hiked downhill to get to the waterfalls where Marvin guided us to.

After they cooled off at the waterfall, we happily hiked through the familiar terrain headed for the jump-off point at DENR, freshened up and partook of my tuna sandwich baon and headed for home sweet home.

Hike to Mt. Sembrano

We did say that hiking was going to be a monthly activity for our group. We failed to take into consideration our workload, the availability of friends and the weather condition.

Nonetheless we have successfully hiked again and reached the summit of Mt. Sembrano located in Pililia, Rizal.

Although Nina and Letlet weren't present, we were blessed enough to be accompanied by four people who have made the hike worthwhile and most importantly, safe.

Of my El Hombre buddies, Maan was the only one up for the challenge. Nina claimed that she was, except that she had an "interview" that very same day. Letlet refused to be coerced into coming, asserting that she can't in retrospect to her fainting and barfing on our hike to Mt. Tagapo.

Maan and I hiked with Keneth, a high school classmate and his friend Keen who despite having a torn ACL bravely served as our guide. According to him, it's his fourth climb to Mt. Tagapo. The two others were Marvin, a friend of Keen who intimidated us with his Vibram shoes. He said it's ideal for hiking because the grip on the ground is much more firm, as if one is barefoot. His friend was Yayi, who has hiked seven times already this year. She's a nice Bicolana who works as an accountant but claims she's not good with handling her own money.

From our village, we took a jeep headed to Tanay Market costing Php38. Upon reaching the market Keneth had breakfast at the local karenderia, Marvin and Yayi bought bread at a bakery. Keneth and Keen were heavy smokers so I always saw them smoking.

We then rode a jeep headed to Pililia Rizal and had ourselves dropped off at the Malaya Barangay Hall. We then registered our names and contact numbers and paid Php20 each. We set off for our hike at 6:45am. Getting to Mt. Sembrano were houses and a concrete road that was steep. I had to catch my breath and about 3 minutes into walking I joked that it was time for us to go down and go home.

There was a point in our hike where there were locals riding a horse with baskets attached to the sides. We paused and positioned ourselves on the sides first. Maan miscalculated her position and was still hit by the basket attached to one horse. Good thing she held on to Keneth and me for support. She told me later on that she got bruised.

I don't know what maneuver I did but for some reason, the buckle to one strap of my backpack got broken. Unluckily, it was the point where we had to go down from a plain part of the mountain, where fresh bukos are available for Php10, to a narrow pathway to have lunch near a mini-waterfall. I was able to balance the backpack successfully on one shoulder, credits to Yoga tree pose I've been doing. :))

Reaching the mini-falls, we settled at a dry spot of boulders to where I shared my famous-baon-for-hikes-tuna-sandwich to my newfound hike buds. After eating, ingeniously fixing my backpack, getting to know each other more and resting, we decided to continue to head to the peak but not before I grabbed on to a rock which had a hairy caterpillar planted unto it. It stung and I took off the little hairs that clung to my right ring finger and paddled my right hand unto the streaming water. As they say in Filipino, Malayo iyan sa bituka.

One weird thing that happened to us was finding an unopened bottle of rum about 10 minutes before reaching the peak. It was just lying there by the grass and we left it exactly where we saw it.

All exhaustion we felt was momentarily forgotten upon reaching the peak and in savoring the view of Laguna de Bay surrounding Mt. Sembrano.

Ticked Off

It’s funny when people think so high of themselves and suddenly become experts on how to run other's lives
I don’t deserve being told off; you’re not my parents to give me unsolicited advice

The reason I feel attacked maybe is because we aren't even close
Feeling choked, any motive of concern becomes blurred of course

If I'm making a mistake, let me make it, let me learn
If you raise your voice on me, don’t expect me to be nice in return

If you are speaking out of jealousy, I’m sorry, I thought you were gay
A hint that nothing’s ever going to happen between us, I’m not desperate, got that? Okay.

Let’s go back to being acquaintances - if it’s personal I’m not sharing it to you
I’m sorry I thought you were my friend....well awww, BOOHOO

Enough is Enough

We saw each other, talked, ate, hung out like regular buddies do

I'm the leading man in the story and my lady-in-waiting isn't even Orlando Bloom

Why the hell do I even bother inviting him to group activities as an excuse to hang out

Repaid with reasons why he can't, it's okay to be a man about it, it is your sex for crying out loud

I don't deserve him, I don't deserve what I'm doing to myself

Used my heart at the expense of self-respect now what's left is an empty shelf

Enough is enough. I'm not rewinding back to scene one

The second act is supposedly more interesting, it stares a different man 

Our story wasn't that of love 

The credits can now roll

Pining for Someone

Four years after, I'm still holding on to that letter
I'm sitting in the office wishing love was so much simpler

Hearing the romantic symphony play, nervously I head the dance floor and though awkward, I start
Breathing deeply, talking to myself: 'If we only had the courage to dance to the beat of our heart'

Timing was a concern then with you I don't know what it is now
I know I'm not perfect and still I muster enough courage to be honest somehow

I'm saying my peace, praying for enlightenment on whatever there might be between us
Tell me if I need to move on and start entertaining other guys

In the attempt to soften this stubborn and rigid heart of mine
I think of you and I pine for the absent, the vague and indeterminate, convincing myself that I'm fine

Please don't mind my reaction and just be honest with what you feel
I can take whatever your answer will be, after all I did wait for four years

The Sound of Love

The soundtrack to one of my favorite films - Submarine. The perfect background music whilst doing scripts. Happy Wednesday World :) 

Gratitude Journal Day 1: Learning to Relax

It's has been tough at work last week but this week will have no more tears shed: only sweat from hard-work. This week, I will be mindful, focused and extra-helping to my co-workers.

Revisiting the concept of gratitude in Positive Psychology is the gratitude journal that in essence are daily writings of 5 things one is grateful for. This practice, has been highly associated with one's capability to be happy.

Today I'm grateful for the following:

1. My dad who has ever been so patient with me. I know I can be very demanding, defiant and rude especially towards him but he never fails to patiently remind me to relax, to savor whatever enjoyment I can get out of a frustrating situation.

2. Relaying my frustrations about work to my dad, the feedback I got was to be professional. If there are comments from my bosses about my output, I shouldn't take it personally but instead offer alternatives and other solutions to be able to attain the desired results.

3. My sister, has reminded me that part of the process of one's professional life is stress which may involve crying and egos flaring depending on how one handles it, but the final output will be worth it if a team is willing to work hard.

4.I'm glad for that phone call from Kate. She reminded me to support our friend Jam who's running for a Kagawad position in the upcoming Barangay Elections. She also reminded me of the other job opportunity awaiting me and I'm deeply thankful for her thoughtfulness and concern for my career path.

5. I'm thankful to my Lola who kindly gathered and folded the clothes I washed earlier this morning while we went out to do the grocery. She will always be one of the best persons in the world for me.

Sleeping it off

In this week-long stormy weather, where I'm stuck in the house and have been mostly inside my room, it's the perfect time to unwind. Not think about work for a while and instead, cuddle over a good book, dance to party beats like crazy, have a movie marathon or cry over a guy in a fetal position.

Indeed, that escalated quickly. My emotions can be unpredictably crazy at times and trust me, I am working on it.

Two nights ago when I was having a hard time to sleep, I decided to make a tuna sandwich and had red wine just because it was the first drink I saw inside the refrigerator. I was also munching on reese's chocolates while drinking so no surprise at all when I attempted to do yoga after, I couldn't hold the tree pose position.

Feeling dizzy, I laid down trying to sleep but I felt this urge to look out my window. The view is that of our street, three quiet houses parallel our house and an empty lot beside our house with coconut and mango trees. It was midnight and it was a peaceful sight. Completely opposite the churn of my heart.

And then I started crying and babbling to myself while looking outside. Don't give up on me. Why would you. How could you. Please don't give up on me. And I cried once more because of how pathetic I was being. And cried again out of confusion.

And the voices of people echoed in my head.

Why do you still like him? I imagine you with a man not a boy.
Why do you still like him? That was so long ago.
Why do you still like him? He's not even cute.
You were friendzoned.
Why would you cry over him, you weren't even together.
If he can prioritize his studies over you then what's to stop him from prioritizing his career over you?
There are plenty of fish in the sea.
What about other people who like you? Give them a chance.

And I crescendo-ed to diverting my thoughts elsewhere.

The truth is, I am not blinded by love. I don't think I have ever been in love. I know I told my colleagues that I don't believe in marriage but that doesn't mean I don't believe in love. I believe in it, yes, I mean it's love, not Santa Claus, to quote 500 Days of Summer. Having the capacity for it is a different thing.

And because I didn't know how to deal with my emotions, I did the only thing I know best - I slept it off.

El Hombre Buddies Reunion: Hike to Mt. Tagapo

The little I can say why our group is called as such is due to a night of laughter and embarrassment starring four girls with the embarrassing part centered on me.

Two years later, the four of us, on a whim decided to finally go hiking one rainy Saturday afternoon. We excluded alcohol this time from the list of 'fun activities to-do' but later you'll find out that alcohol just can't be escaped especially when a group's name is that of a brand of tequila.

The four of us, Maan, Lets, Nina and yours truly, decided to go hiking, at night, plus a guide whom Maan communicated with via text. Never mind that only Maan was the only one who knew where we were going, never mind that Lets, have had no workout whatsoever, adding that Nina was extremely hesitant and late, and with myself being occasionally paranoid about worst case-scenarios.

At around 5pm, from Angono Plaza, we rode a jeep to Binangonan Fish Port. Inside the jeep, we pointed out the list of things that we forgot - flashlights, a can opener, all advantageous to our survival. But being a bunch of hippies we just looked at each other, and laughed an awry laugh.

At the Binangonan Fishport, we were seated at a boat which was halfway filled with people. It was past  5pm but it was only after an hour after it sailed. The one hour wait was patience-testing and nerve-wracking. We understood that it had to fill the unoccupied spaces but seeing a gas tank being brought to the boat was just testing. Nina whispered to me her hopes that what will happen won't be a Final Destination movie. I told her to shush it and added to say that it won't happen, trying to convince her and essentially, myself.

Our worries weren't over for there was a motorcycle being brought to the boat. Letlet mentioned that a tricycle was to be transported next, followed by a jeepney. Nina said that the motorcyvle, placed on one end of the boat which we were facing, will be what will run the boat. I said that once the boat was fully occupied, paddles will be distributed to everyone on board and we will have to get to our destination in three days.

The boat ride was pleasant. It was my first time to geographically take in the view, to appreciate the fish port, although the water was far from clear. I was envisioning how this will all look like on top view. I observed the hills and the mountains, questioning which lucky mountain would gloriously experience having me, @ninyathegreat  to hike it.

We finally were at Barangay Janosa, Binangonan, Rizal after an hour. After paying the boat fair which was  30php, A Kagawad who was on board the boat with us, approached us, introduced himself and said that we needed to register at the barangay hall first.

As passengers alighted the boat, we noticed several people, a group of 15, were wearing professional hiking gears and were asking aloud if 'they' meaning us were climbing Mt. Tagapo too. The four of us didn't answer, but I'm sure we were all thinking the same thing. "We are saved."

At the barangay hall, we paid 20php each for the registration. The other group asked if we were coming with them, I said, "Please, if it's okay." They said "Yeah, the more the merrier."

We learned that we were to have only one tour guide, Kuya Archie, and his ten year old son, Armin. While the other group was eating banana, to load up on potassium, the four of us were led to Kuya Archie's house, near the barangay hall were talking amongst each other that we are ill-equipped and that it is an itsy bitsy bit embarrassing.

Later on, the other group formed a circle and invited us to pray with them. At 7pm, it was decided that we start with the hiking trip.

Nina and me were paired and trailed behind the other group. It was not that dark then and we were living off the other group's source of light. Maan and Lets were right behind.

Thank God though, that I didn't forget to fully charge my phone because it has a built-in flash light. Nina was using whatever light is coming from her phone. I don't know about Maan, but Letlet's phone also has a built-in flash light. She also has this tiny cookie-shaped key-chain that emits light just enough to realize that the light isn't sufficient enough.

The hike began well, with Nina and me still being able to talk, I was telling her about the hike to Mt. Banahaw, how it was way more difficult because we hiked while it was raining. Later on, all that can be heard from the both us is our heavy-breathing.

Some of the highlights, of the two-hour hike was Letlet puking so the people hiking near her had to stop and assist her. Especially Maan. At one stop where Letlet stopped so that she could sit down and catch her breath, I got to talk to Kuya Randy who was so kind enough to lend me the head flashlight he was using in exchange for my phone. He said he couldn't help it after hearing how heavy I was breathing.

Nina and I reached the camping site at around 9pm and boy were we extremely happy. A group of Pakistani hikers greeted us and asked to which group we belonged to. I blurted out 'the lone group'.

Maan and Lets arrived 20 minutes later. Kuya Archie, Armin, Nina already set up the tent where they could rest unto.

Kuya Randy's group invited us for a few shots and a hot monggo meal after to which we accepted gratefully. We woke up at before 4am to reach the summit which is a 5 minute hike from the camping site and viewed the sunrise.

This is a first to one of our monthly hikes as a group.

Creeped Out

“We are old and mature; we can talk about these things” says Ray in a loud voice, obviously directing the statement at me. He was justifying his vulgar language about a female celebrity on the cover of a men's magazine.

I don’t mind sexual jokes, especially with my girl friends, but coming from someone I barely know and with the object of the joke as me, it is just plain creepy.

I think it started with a personal question asked out of nowhere.

“Do you favor the idea of live-in?” asked Ray, to whom I answered, “I don’t know, but I’m sure my dad would kill me.” I fired the question back at him and to two other fellow employees at lunch, thinking to myself that it might just be a random question that would spark an intelligent discussion. The direction didn't head that way.

The stream of personal questions didn’t stop there. One time at the office, in front of other employees, he asked if I had a boyfriend and I answered, “No.” thinking that it might just be out of curiosity as this question was previously asked of me before by other employees. He then had a follow up question which was if I drink. I answered, “I do, but I don’t drink with men.” I uncomfortably asked why he was asking me these things but he just evaded the question.

Probably the most offending thing Ray did, to which I let slide because I would like to believe in the goodness of people, was when he maneuvered to sit beside me, got hold of my computer keyboard and said that he wanted to let me read something. Curious, I asked if it was about technology. He said that it was. When I finally saw the title of the article, I was irritated and put on an annoyed smile, read the article quick and then asked him, “So, what’s your point?” He then babbled an incongruous reply. The title of the article was 'The Problem with Virginity.'

There were two occasions that he complimented my outfit but instead of feeling flattered I felt creeped out, both times. The first one, he said that he appreciates what I’m wearing and that I should wear outfits like that more often. I told him, “Well after hearing that I think I might have to burn this top after I’ve used it.”

The second time, he said that he likes what I’m wearing and even offered unsolicited advice as to what shoes I should wear to match my top. He repeated his marvelous idea around three times that day and told others that what I needed was lipstick, a blush on and eyeliner and then I could pass for a rocker chick. I told him, “Well, pay me a large amount of money and then I’d do it.”

There were still many disturbing things he did, and after looking up the official description of sexual harassment at the United Nations website, it's just sad that what he did fell under sexual harassment.

I don’t plan to make a big fuss out of it, but I am ignoring him now, he has a younger sister after all and I will in the future talk some sense to him, somehow.

After all, it did come from his own mouth that 'we are old and mature' even if he doesn't have the slightest bit of idea what those two adjectives connote.

Comfort Music

If you have a job like I do, sitting in an air-conditioned room 9 hours a day coming up with copies, I'm sure you do things that stimulate your brain cells without being overly distracted.

Just like how I was back in college when coming up with term papers, I listen to instrumentals and let the creativity flow.

Here are my favorites in no particular order:

1. The complete soundtrack of Amelie by Yann Tiersen

2. A Kaleidoscope of Mathematics by James Horner

3. Forrest Gump Theme by Alan Silvestri

4. The Intouchables complete soundtrack

5. Lux Aeterna by Clint Mansell

6. The Secret Garden soundtrack - Awakening of Spring { the complete soundtrack is good! :) }

7. Philip Glass the complete Metamorphosis Album performed by Branka Parlic

Unfazed

Browsing through my previous blog posts, I felt sad yet unsurprised at how I described myself as broken.The days I spent angry and depressed although vivid are things of the past. I then felt relief and joy knowing that I don't hold grudges anymore or even spend time writing about negative things.

Nowadays, I don't even want to stay mad. There are things that irritate me, but I do things  to lessen my irritation. I also do things to keep me happy.

I just don't see the point anymore in wallowing in sadness and anger. Life is too short and unexpected that I don't want to live a day that I'd regret.

Thanks Sis

I was at a bookstore earlier with my sister, having to photocopy a bunch of my ids when my sister who had a nice looking fellow lined up beside her, looked at my passport and blurted:

Baboon: Why does your passport have a letter M on gender?

Moi: Because I had a sex change recently, did you forget?

Baboon: Was this the time you shaved the upper part of your eyebrows and looked weird?

Moi: ....

Away from the bookstore I tell her:

Moi: Why didn't you just blurt out if that time was the time I had a menstrual stain or if it was the same time I forgot to shower and brush my teeth or if it was the time I was still a hobo.

Why Dad likes Talking to Me

Dad: Were you able to give Wylo the Tim Tam chocolates?

Moi: Not yet.

Dad: Why not?

Moi: Because, I offered the Pili nuts first and they have to finish that first. And also because I didn't appreciate the way Wylo asked for it. Kidding.

Dad: You should pity her and Erica, their parents aren't around.

Moi: Take pity? I do. Like when I wanted to watch something else on tv, but I told Erica, 'don't change the channel, even if what you're watching sucks.' Or when I asked Wylo for water, and she did but forgetting to put a pinch of lemon to it, so I so kindly marched back to the kitchen myself to do just that while I looked daggers at her.

Dirty Minds

Today at breakfast we were talking about fingernails when my 8 year old niece shared something about her teacher:

Wylo: My teacher said that he knows someone with long nails in his pinky finger to use for

Me: Eww, is it gross? Don't say it.

Lola: I think I know what you're going to say, you don't have to mention it.

Wylo: To use for pressing the tiny button on his CPU.

Lola and me: Oh....

Just dad

Dad: When you get your first paycheck, you have to treat Bea and me.

Me: No, I'm donating everything to the Church.

Dad: What? You do know that the Church only donates 20% to charity and the rest is for operations, for the Vatican, for fattening the bank accounts of....

Me: Not the Catholic Church, a Born-again Christian Church

Dad: It's the same thing. Do you know that Christian Church leaders drive 2-4 cars, live in very big houses...

Me: I was kidding. I just don't want to treat you and Bea.

1st Week, 1st Job

It has been a week since I started my first job and I must say that so far, I am liking it.

I was warmly welcomed by the Merchandising and Creatives team and I get a table to myself in a spacious room with a fellow copywriter who has been very helpful. Most call him 'attorney'as he has taken one semester of law. I called him attorney today when I was inviting him for lunch and he said that I was starting to join the bandwagon. It's interesting to note as well that attorney and I share the same dream, we both want to get a masters degree and a doctorate degree and would want to teach eventually.

The most interesting thing in the office is a pair of 3-inch high black boots that looks like Lady gaga would own which serves as a vase for a fake bouquet of flowers. I don't think any office has the same interesting object to smile at once in a while.

The desktop computer which was assigned to me already had problems when I used it this Monday and it officially gave up and crashed yesterday. Now I'm at the desk of my boss staring at three cute rubber duckies  that could all fit perfectly in one palm. She actually has her own office and laptop at the second floor but also has a desk with a computer in our room at the third floor just so she has  a space close to the writers.

It was funny on my second day when Ray and Ray, yes we have two of them at the department and asked about my love life after sharing about theirs. One Ray, who was shocked upon hearing that I don't have one, asked, 'Hah? so nbsb ka?' I laughed and said yes. The issue was brought up again at lunch time, the following day probed into by different peeps from the department. This time I was asked why and I said, 'I just want it that way.'  They all started teasing another female employee, Joe who doesn't have a special someone at the moment too teasing her that at least mine is by choice.

Although I said that I would delete my facebook after graduation, the creatives team and I have added each other already and I don't think I will delete it now as it's a way to get know this new set of professional family.

(5 April 2013)

MJ the Meanie

Me: Let's go jogging after all our exams. I really want to tone my tummy. I hate my flabs.

MJ: Let's go to a cliff, so I can push you.

***

MJ: Your arms are so thin. You need to eat more.

Me: But do you know who's super conscious about her arms? Riza.

MJ: Why?

Me: She says she's fat.

MJ: You know, I'll push Riza down the stairs one of these days.

The Intouchables: A Film About Friendship and Independence

The Intouchables is a 2011 French comedy-drama film that tells the story of the friendship which was born out of a boss-employee relationship. It is the story of Philippe, an extremely wealthy quadriplegic who has hired Driss to take care of him 24/7.

What was notable in the visual aspect of the film was how it contrasted the differing lives of Philippe and Driss. Philippe is serious in his demeanor and lives in a beautiful mansion with rooms adorned with the dominant color of gold symbolizing prosperity. Driss on the other hand does not have his own home and was recently kicked out of the house where he lives because of his irresponsible behavior. He is a light-hearted guy who is physically healthy. The contrast between the two characters contributed to their compatibility as a duo.

The film also touches on the theme of dependence and eventually, independence. Dependence was shown in the daily chores of Driss –bathing Philippe, putting stockings on him, even cleaning Philippe’s bottom and finally tending to Philippe when he would have bouts of difficulty in breathing. Driss was dependent on Philippe financially. Towards the end of the film however, Independence was slowly taking into form when Philippe gave his blessing to Driss that he could go home in order for him to take care of his family. Philippe was also becoming independent by leaving Philippe despite his comfortable lifestyle at Philippe's mansion.

At the last part of the movie, when Driss was requested to visit Philippe once more and they went into a restaurant, Philippe got the surprise of his life when Eleanore, whom he has been sharing an epistolary relationship with for years arrives and Philippe becomes teary-eyed and expresses his thanks to Driss who is seen waving goodbye happily. This scene gives a
conclusion as to what the film is all about – learning to be independent through dependence.
Nothing is permanent in this world -people come and go in our lives but the learning, the joy brought forth by the friendship we build is what’s permanent and is the very thing that helps us be better individuals.

Straight

There was one time my college friends and I went swimming at Nina's cousins's condo and during the time we were eating and drinking we touched the topic on lesbians and surprisingly enough I was one of the persons who was accused by two of my friends who had a high chance of being a lesbian. I was so surprised because it clearly proves that they didn't know me at all.

Thank God Nina went to my rescue and asserted the absurdity of the accusation. She was also being accused of being a lesbian and having a special thing with Letlet which she found repulsive because they were only best friends and because she was truly straight.

 It was such a funny scene but for the record, I am straight.

Guilty of Being Inguilty

I don't get it. It has been four years since high school and he's still acting weird. I'm talking about a person whom I was not attached to in anyway except for the fact that he was a classmate of mine who liked me throughout high school. Creepily for that matter. Let's call him Ethan.

The most absurd thing Ethan did which infuriated me was the summer before senior year when he would call me several times everyday on my cellphone to which I never responded to. He then decided to do the next best thing, he went in front of our house at the time it was raining really hard and demanded that I come out and talk to him or else he will not leave. I didn't and he left. Thankfully.

I don't want to seem overly confident about myself because I'm not. But how do you respond to the type of person who can't seem to take a hint. I tried being nice about it and told him to stop wasting his energy on a girl that wouldn't be able to reciprocate his feelings. But when I was nice, he wouldn't give up. I then became arrogant towards him but I ended up being the bad guy in the eyes of many.

It was a terrible feeling I had that one time I was eating at the cafeteria with friends when I was singled out by the basketball coach of our school and was invited to join his table which he shared with some of the basketball team and asked me to resolve the issue with Ethan. Imagine all the trouble which we seemingly caused.  As if something happened between us but in reality we weren't even friends to begin with. We were just classmates. He confessed he liked me and I turned him down that was it.

Another terrible feeling I experienced was when the guy whom I actually liked, Joseph who liked me back was on Ethan's side.

There wasn't an easy way out at that time and there were a lot tension until the time we graduated but for Ethan's sake, I hope he finds peace. I hope that when he called me up recently on my birthday, he was just being friendly and not expecting anything. I hope that he will not be too hard on himself or me when we recently shared a jeep but I never noticed him and when I got down, only then did he call my attention and accused me of deliberately ignoring him and acted like he was a victim. I asked him if he tried to call me, get my attention perhaps and when he answered no, I hope he realizes that I wasn't being mean but just naturally aloof when I'm in public.

I don't know how he is, if he's attached or not but I do hope he is happy.

Seemingly Selfish

My dad and my Lola was guilt tripping me yesterday about my plans of buying my own condo unit in the near future.

They said I would inevitably be lonely. My dad said that in times when I would be sick I would have to fend for myself and even went into connecting how I was at the time I was hospitalized last semester. I was hospitalized for one week and was subjected to dextrose due to a very low platelet count. I was sad, sensitive and clingy at that time but then again aren't all sick patients that way? My dad even laughed at the time I would ask for acupressure and the time I kept on asking if my sister would be visiting me.

I told my dad and Lola that if that's the only catch, being lonely, then I'd take that risk. My dad went on to say that I shouldn't ask for it because God will test me. I told him that God only tests people who needs to learn a lesson. I asked what lesson do I need to learn. My dad said that I was very selfish.

If I'd lay down the reasons why they are so against my plan, I'd reveal who's really selfish but I wouldn't want to do that because I don't want to be genuinely selfish given that they can't possibly defend themselves in this platform.

Cool It

The trick is to not get cocky if you have won because success isn't permanent. It's a lesson to you so you won't be complacent and lose momentum. It's good for others around you so they don't have to endure a douche walking around in their presence. Be humble.

Consequently, don't be mousy if you have lost because it's not the end of the world. This is a cliche but it can't get any truer than it is. Plenty of other people are in the same situation but they have willed themselves to bounce right back up. Many are in worse situations than yours so don't walk around whining about it like a baby and take it like a man. Life can't possibly be without problems for how would we learn? How would we learn the value of something had we not worked hard to surpass it.

Don't get cocky and don't be mousy.

(Inspired by Leadership Smarts by Ken Blanchard)

Acquaintances

If you have watched 'When Harry Met Sally' you would be familiar with the argument of Harry and the plot itself that men and women can't really be friends.

It's the whole idea that men can't be friends with women because they would always want to have sex with them regardless if they are attractive or not which would ultimately send the friendship to doom especially when their female friends are a.) not interested b.) are interested and if they would agree to it, their friendship would usually end there more than it blossoms into something else which isn't exactly friendship anymore.

Now bringing the topic to my age group and the Philippine setting I would agree to the idea that men and women can't be friends with proper contextualization.

Firstly, let's remove the sex issue and bring it down to 'liking or loving', taking into consideration that we are not as liberated as the Westerners.

Now, I would say that there are two types of male friends, the jerks and the decent ones and based on my experience, befriending any of the two and developing a very close relationship with either produces a problematic scenario on the female friend's part.

If there would be any striking differentiating factor within the way these two types of males profess their liking (explicitly and implicitly) to their female friend, it would be the timing. Nothing more and nothing less.

Jerks, being jerks and let's admit it, a little less on the thinking area hence the term jerks, (There are smart jerks, but the fact that they are jerks makes them stupid) would be the first to hit on their female friends and due of course to the their lack in gentlemanly and romantic technique combined would promptly cost their friendship with their female friend.

The decent ones, who are usually over thinkers or cowards or sometimes both are those that survive the friendship a little longer, (thanks to their overly-thinking brains that surpasses the shallow relationship with the female friend which makes them slightly more mature and would thus be considered as an asset) tend to implicitly profess their feelings. There really isn't anything wrong with this picture except if the female friend is not in the least bit interested of taking the friendship up a notch.

So really, men and women can't really be friends. They can superficially be friends though, which is a lot better than nothing at all or call them acquaintances to be precise.

A Girly Afternoon

DMC Therapy 

Spent most of the afternoon today making dmc bracelets whilst watching Meg Ryan romcom films which I have all watched and giggled to more than once already.

There are just those times when one wants to relax and not be intellectually stimulated but rather to wallow in sentimentalism once in a while, or in other words, I was such a girl this afternoon. :))

Meanie

Me: What are you looking at me like that for? You're going to comment again that I look thin right?
MJ: No! I was going to say you look haggard.
Me: That's even worse! That's another way of saying I look ugly.
MJ: Would you rather I lied?
Me: So you admit that I do look ugly.
MJ: It's just your headband okay. What kind of headband is that anyway.

Mj was a meanie today but I spent the last part of the afternoon with her laughing about what happened at DevComm Class , talking about men, eating at a Japanese resto while giving me all the Hana Kimi episodes and Kenshin the movie files.

Sablay Moments # 2

We had to present our Development Communication Plan in class as part of our Finals but we had to present it in the Filipino language even if our powerpoint presentation was in English so imagine the reaction of the class when two of my groupmates reported their parts:

Yanna: Narito nga po pala ang mga KONTENTO ng aming hand-out sa naganap na forum.

Ms. G: Umm. Iha, laman.

Riza: Naganap nga po pala ang aming forum noon Enero bente, DALAWANGPUNG LIBO'T TATLO

Hearts Abound

It is hearts day today and I went home from school carrying two white roses - which I bought for my Lola and Aunt.

Valentines day isn't such a lame day, as I previously thought it was.(I thought it was a highly capitalist celebration which obligates people to give and receive love in the form of every imaginable heart-shaped materials)

Valentines is actually a perfect excuse to be extra nice to others, the reason being that love is celebrated on this very day. It's a nice occasion to bring home flowers and to receive cake, and ask people eagerly how their day went, who greeted them, who gave them gifts. At school it's nice to ask around the plans of classmates going out on dates. It's a nice day to officially celebrate two or more people's special relationship especially when birthdays and Christmas would be far too long occasions to look forward too.

Feel the love today, or everyday. Happy Valentines Day!

Book Blowout

I recently celebrated my birthday and had these awesome books as gifts. I shall be reading them in between my heavy school workload because my curiosity can't be helped.

I'd like to thank Jhobs, Arnie and my dad. <3

Bimbo

Today marks the end of our college's three day job fair and it was an interesting experience going around the booths of the not so diverse and unfortunately few companies which were present.

There was a magazine company which some of my friends were eyeing. We were mentioning some of their qualifications like being in the know with the entertainment industry and being fashionable when I suddenly blurted out:  'well they might as well stated that they have openings for bimbos'.

We had a good laugh but my classmate Rachelle was taken aback at my hasty generalization. Good times. Good times.

Sablay Moments

Scene 1:

Maan: Sino nga ba ang founder ng KFC?

Me: Alam ko K yun eh.

Nina: edi si Kenny Rogers.

Scene 2:

Riza: Do you mean to say that my answer is wrong Prosec?

Prosec: Yes it is.

Riza: What do you mean by yes?

Scene 3: 

Maan: Ano nga ba yung game na nilaro natin kanina?

Me: Edi pass a message with a twist

Maan: ah, thank you.
(it was plainly: act the message)

Scene 4:

Joyce: Ano uli ang tagalog ng Firefly?

Riza: Farfly?

Maan: hahaha FARFLY

Me: edi tutubi.

Joyce: Ano ba wala namang ilaw yun eh.

Chin Up

Yesterday I found out what it is to still keep one's head up despite a fall. Literally and Figuratively.

Literal:

I had to be at school at 8:30 am to meet up with my team mates for the semi finals at the Dean's cup debate.

Going to school at rush hour entails me to take four public transportation: a jeep, an fx, a jeep and another jeep. I was worried I would be late so upon alighting the first jeep and walking a short distance to get to the fx, I was overtaking people but the next thing I knew, the ground had suddenly become nearer to me. Both my hands were touching the ground and my right knee was supporting my weight yet in an instant I helped myself up whilst carrying my heavy backpack and shoulder bag and acted as if nothing happened and headed for the fx.

Before meeting up with  my team mates who ran late, I headed to the clinic and requested for my wound to be cleaned. As the nurse was cleaning it, I shared that the last time I tripped and scraped my knee was way back in second grade. The punitive yet kind nurse upon finding out that I was a senior said that if I were her daughter she'd pinch me for being careless.

Figurative:

Upon listening to the first minute of the adjudicator's general comments on the debate about the motion: THW privatize police which was the chosen motion by our competitor for winning the toss coin, I knew our team lost.

There were no hard feelings of course and our team happily congratulated the CDE department and bade them luck at the finals.

Ate Iris who is a Debate Alumni told me that the policy our house created was difficult to support but added that what's important is that we had fun.

There are those days that things won't go as hoped for but it's a learning experience. I've learned that preparation is key. Why was I worried about being late in the first place? Because I knew I crammed  studying for prelims in French, our ppt for Dev Comm report, and my research on crime and punishment. Why did we lose at the semis? Because we weren't able to train and practice constructive and rebuttal speeches in the span of four days given to us to prepare.

Yet there's no use in dwelling on shortcomings. At best we won't repeat these actions and walk away as a bruise-free winner and at worst we will keep on encountering these types of situations until it's painful enough for us to endure and finally say, things will go as hoped for and as planned for.

Defending Word of the Lourd

My thesismates and I feeling ecstatic 
about the outcome of our thesis defense

Tips for a smooth sailing thesis experience:

1. you have to be passionate about your thesis topic

2. you have to be smart in selecting your groupmates

3. you have to be married to your thesis 

All these you have to endure for one year if you want to graduate on time or if you want to run the extra mile, go for the 'best thesis' award and graduate with flying colors :)

Grateful for Riza and Yanna who share the same interest as I on sociopolitical issues which have produced this thesis topic:

Satire as a Way of Presenting Sociopolitical Issues: A Study on the Perceptions of 3rd Year Comm Students on Word of the Lourd

End Call

I get two missed phone calls from an unknown number so I replied courteously asking who it was and asked how I may help him/her on the pretext that it could have been my future boss of this television station I applied work for.

Lo and behold the same number calls again awaking me from deep slumber and nope it was not my future boss. It was the voice of a man who I suspect is from the province judging from his accent. When I asked who it was he instead shot back a question asking me how old I was and said he was the one who sent a text earlier that day.

I apologized to him for the misunderstanding and told him I don't make friends with strangers on the phone. I didn't wait for a response and pressed 'end call'.

Checking my inbox after that I saw several texts from him saying that he dialed random cellphone numbers and when mine rang, he said he decided to bug me. He also sent an assuming text saying guessing that I was a teacher and shared that his sister is a primary teacher too.

I didn't bother anymore after that.

Really. Just really. People still do that nowadays. Apparently.

Letter of Regret or Not

I bid thee my apology for not updating my blog for two weeks now
The Lord knows what I've been up to and it's been challenging somehow
Much is required you see for a graduating student like me
I'll enumerate some highlights just so you'll leave this issue be


My group mates and I slaved for the ring-bound copy of our thesis
submitted it to our coordinator, adviser and panelist
We had a to make a one minute video about compassion
got a 99% and told myself this could definitely go on


Successfully implemented our Forum for Pook Libis
Learned so much just as the participants and after that we trained for debate for a bit
Speaking of debate, our department has reached the Semi-Finals at the Dean's cup debate
so pray for us, it's been 5 years and our dept. hasn't gotten the title since but it's never too late


Finished a book report and a report for Strategic Management Comm
Thankful as well that I was able to answer the questions at our Media Laws oral examination
So much has happened so much is pending still
and I've stressed a little but have been enjoying the experience while I'm still here

Pain is Beauty

When him and I exchanged letters after our high school graduation our letters contained similar content. We both said we had liked each other but because I thought it was not the right time to enter in a relationship given our age and maturity and his reason being that it was discouraged at their Church, we both thought to leave it at that.

One of the things I appreciated in his letter was when he apologized for always correcting me when I was at fault and quoted Proverbs 27:6; "Wounds from a sincere friend are better than kisses from an enemy."

Every time my dad talks to me regarding how "sungit, disrespectful, prideful" I am to my sister or to my grandmother or to my tita, I would defend myself of course and in the event I would end up crying because I do know to a certain degree that it is true.

Before we can correctly apply knowledge, we cite painful yet educational experiences.

My dad recently met a motor accident and had to have a knee surgery. This morning he told Bea to never ever drive a motorcycle.

I would look back to my high school experience of quitting the volleyball varsity team when searching for courage in the opportunities that come my way.

I had to sacrifice all my free time and to an extent, my academics when I joined the debate team in college for one semester and had to cry one or few times too due to stress but it was equivalent to one free and significant course to remove political apathy.

A pencil undergoes a painful process of sharpening before it becomes useful and only then could it serve its purpose.

A Lesson at a Job Interview

Who would have thought that I would be receiving a significant writing tip at a job interview. It was a highly appreciated piece of advice coming from an experienced writer at a television network.

Generally, she said that I write rather safely and conservatively but when I wrote about Migration and Globalization as my answer to one of the the essay questions she said it blew her mind and called me 'little nerdita'.

She said that there's no 'landi' in the way I write making the style of my writing very serious and heavy. When I asked whether it's about the content and if I should write about more controversial things she said, not necessarily and answered that it the way one uses language and encouraged me to play with words.

After expressing interest in me in the departments I could be part she invited me to another interview with a different department head. As I bade her goodbye I told her I would consider her writing tip and she told me I should go for it because I have it in me.

I would love to get feedback regarding the way I write. Upon the creation of this blog I told myself my only audience would be myself and a few intimate friends. Yet how do I grow as a writer without people having read my works and critique it for my personal and professional growth?

I'll try my best you guys :)

Discovering Gold in a Garage Sale

This afternoon was an awesome afternoon! I am all smiles whilst typing this entry and that’s how awesome it was.

We held a garage sale at my house along with my Development Communication group mates to raise funds for our project for Pook Libis – the community which we will be offering our Service Learning to.

Joyce already gave me a few blouses to sell before Christmas break and for my contribution I scavenged my closet for blouses that haven’t been used for quite some time and got my reader digest condensed books which I bought at a book sale, scavenged Bea’s stuff too. Well for two bear stuffed toys which she wouldn’t miss because it has been stored at the top of our closet for years. I also threw in three heels which were all given to me because trust me I wouldn’t spend for heels -my feet and my style advice me against it. I also threw in perfumes given to me as gifts whose scents aren’t my taste at all. The only scent I appreciate by far is the white musk scent of any brand of perfume. Speaking of that scent my French professor wears the same scent. I know because I’m seated at the front of our class and he usually brings lots of stuff to class – his home cooked lunch, mint drink, canned goods imported from France and one time his perfume was lying there and I told him it was the same as mine. He just looked at me.

Going back to the garage sale, Riza and Yanna arrived at lunch time and Yanna was equipped with cute bracelets which she seldom used and contemporary books. One book was titled, “Mga Kwento ng Puso” and when we teased her about it she defensively said it was for her Creative Writing class. I bought a printed skirt from the clothes Riza bought priced at 20php and it was not bad at all.

I was going upstairs to get some money and Tita Beau asked if we were just exchanging stuff. I said that we are the number one customers of our own garage sale. Actually Riza is the number one customer because most of the pretty stuff Yanna brought was sold to her as in two charmed bracelets, a new brown Hang Ten purse with a navy blue little ribbon and the new fake Mac eye shadow set which were all gifts to Yanna which she said she will not be using.

Maan arrived later on and brought clothes too while we were entertaining some of the few customers who passed by. Because all of our stuff are for females we couldn’t accommodate what the tri-bike drivers and other men who passed by were looking which are men’s wear. We promised them we would have on Friday afternoon.

When Erica arrived from school after we already packed up after three hours of marketing, I told her to take a look at the container of unsold bracelets and surprisingly she liked one – a colorful crystal gartered bracelet and it was sold for 20php. Wylo my 2nd grade niece surprisingly was interested in the crystal dog keychain originally priced at 20php but I sold it to her for half the price.

Wylo was really happy about the keychain that she still kept looking at the other unsold bracelets. I thought she was just admiring them but to my surprise once my classmates went home and I put all unsold stuff in my room with Erica and Wylo’s help and I was already doing homework, Wylo went in my room and casually lifted some unsold books from the container of the unsold bracelet and was expressing interest in a black bracelet with a silver key and asked me how much it was, I said it was 20php and asked if she had money. Surprisingly she had and immediately handed me two ten peso coins. I was surprised and thanked her for contributing to our funds. She was still observing the container and asked me how much the crystal lizard keychain was and I said I wasn’t sure if its 20php and checked our price list but I told her I’d give it to her for 10php. She gave me the 10 and eventually gave me another 5php. I told her it’s okay she can keep the 5php because she might not have any money anymore and I even clarified if it was her own money to which she affirmed. I was giving her the 5php back and said that she should keep it in case she’d be interested in the next batch of stuff we would be selling on Friday. She gently pushed my hand with the 5php coin back and it was just a sweet gesture.

It was great experience raising 445php in 3 hours. You learn promotion, sales talk, what people want and don’t want and you get to discover people who are willing to help.

Law of Attraction in Action

It was a frightening feeling. A feeling you want to be rid off as soon as you’re feeling it because who wants to be scared? It's not exactly a good feeling to bathe in. Yet the feeling stubbornly remains and for a quite a while too. It’s programmed to be there to incite something in us. Maybe courage. Maybe a stronger will. Following that ideal direction and up to what extent is up to us.

I said I wouldn't and couldn't. But there I was smack in the middle of it.

I said I wouldn't ride any ride I wasn't comfortable riding on. I was thinking of riding a Merry Go Round once or thrice. I said I would just serve as the documenter but there I was falling prey to peer pressure. They insisted I purchase the ride all you can ticket since it was my very first time to go to Enchanted Kingdom. In attempt to not be viewed as pedantic I gave in.

The second ride we were lining up for was called Anchors Away and all I could think of were the recounts of people's scary experiences about it playing in my head while looking at the ship shaped ride which swayed from side to side. I didn't want to annoy my companions with my fear but I couldn't help to verbally babble things as the internal battle going on in my head every second as we drew near our turn could not be resolved. I told them I couldn't do it but they thought otherwise. I was breathing heavily already but I found hope  in the ounce of excitement I was feeling. There's something very liberating at getting to try something you are very scared and hesitant of especially if you know it would serve as a milestone.

As our turn drew came I noticed I was shaking. Jhobs sat beside me and we chose to sit at the middle part but as soon as we sat my fear got the best of me and I was thinking I could still back out. I could still back out. My fear took a toll on me and I barfed a little bit on my lap right before the cue for start went on so Jhobs immediately assisted me to the exit and bought me water and we sat on the benches. The rest of our friends went ahead without us. I was very thankful to Jhobs for being such a helpful friend that time.

After that ride the rest of our friends wanted to try the Space Shuttle but because Jhobs and I didn't feel like riding it and because I was just in the process of calming myself we had a go at the bump cars. The fact that a bunch of kids and preteens were the ones lined up who were from a single school didn't bother us. After spending a few minutes of strolling around the amusement park I told Jhobs we should try the Anchors Away again.

I owed it to myself. I owed it to Jhobs who excitedly wants to have a go at it because it isn't her first time to. I didn't want to feel like a loser who lost to myself. I had been practicing the law of attraction and I wanted to prove the law to myself and to other people. I wanted to become what I thought about. I was thinking of being courageous and I wanted that very instant for courage to be manifested.

Before I knew it Jhobs and I were lining up again and we sat in the very place we sat earlier on. There was a kid sitting in front of me who was crying and was being comforted by her teacher. I was amazed at her because although she was scared she didn't try to get off.

When the cue for start went on I had my game face on. Jhobs told me to keep my arms in the air for maximum enjoyment. Besides enjoyment keeping it up in the air tricked my senses into feeling very confident because when I did try putting it on the sides of my legs and I felt my body heavily shaking.  I kept it in the air, swayed my arms hands and even my upper torso whilst shouting every time the ship-like-ride was moving from the highest point to the lowest.

I saw the crying kid was then laughing and her shift of emotions mirrored my initial sentiments. True there was one point it was dizzying and I was thinking, "Tell me this is over. It's probably over. Please Lord let it be over already." but when the pace of the ride was beginning to slow, I knew it would soon be over.

Jhobs and I who were both carrying DSLRs immediately took photos of each other right after for proof that we rode it. I was teary eyed in the photo but I was smiling. I was proud of myself and man did it feel good to get out of one's shell and conquer a fear no matter how little it may seem.

Creative Kicks

These are pictures of the homemade planner I gave to my friend MJ.

Back in November she saw the few pages of a homemade black and pink planner I made myself and found it cute so she asked me if I could make one for her too and said she was willing to pay for the materials and the labor. I mentioned a price which to my surprise she didn't mind at all and she even told me said she'd like to receive it before the new year. Actually I gave it to her on the second of January. I went to their house which was near our street and personally delivered it to her and was received by her Lolo who engaged me in a witty conversation. When MJ came out I handed the planner to her and I told her "You're not allowed to pay for it."

The mere fact that she appreciated something which I did for creative kicks was fulfilling enough. Later on that day in an thoughtful act of appreciation she delivered cute kitchen utensils from a Japanese Store to my house.

Good one Lola

Coming home from our usual Sunday lunch-grocery with our dad, we came home to Wylo wearing this. She's wearing what would be her homework for the next day which is supposedly a homemade mask. Lola in an attempt to exert little effort but maximum hopes of high grades cut holes on the bumble bee made of felt paper which was formerly a design attached to the walls of their room. Bea and I burst out laughing upon seeing it and because of that Lola said Bea should make a new one  instead because she knew nothing of making masks. Bea went around to doing a butterfly design mask with glitters which Wylo wasn't at all embarrassed about.

2012 Christmas at Bicol

Webcam Shots at the Sala

 Mama at the background of the last shot. Also met a few cousins of our cousins: Am who is still in high school but ridiculously taller than I am (who I got to beat at chess! Heehee) and her younger brother Jan. Also notice my cousin Utoy who impressively builds his biceps and triceps but annoyingly called me a faggot as he bade me goodbye upon boarding the bus for home.

My ever humble younger-in-denial-of-being-a-danseur cousin: Karl who-also accuses me of so many absurdities like me deliberately touching his butt and exaggerates my crush to Don Lemon and Alfie Enoch to a fetish for black people. 

With handsome cousin Gadong and adorable cousin Jap who are brothers

Ate Faye- the oldest cousin among all 12 cousins at my father's side. It has been pointed out that I shouldn't be referring to her as ate since she's just a month older but it would be so awkward since the rest of our cousins call her Ate Faye and even our aunts and uncles call her that. Because we are tightly bound by our maturity due to our same age we both have shared a lot of stuff with each other. 

 Dada is a great swimmer compared to the rest of us. She used to be in the swimming varsity of her school and her butterfly stroke which according to her she came to learn for months is to be admired.

This shot was taken at the guest room and these are our positions when movie-marathoning plus many more cousins who would join us. One night when we chose to watch The Exorcism of Emily Rose and since I already watched it I went to sleep earlier than them and when I woke up I couldn't move because it was really crowded. It was a funny sight. My cousin Tessa who eventually transferred to there house at dawn said she woke up with her upper torso on the bed and her legs on the floor and wondered why no one helped her to a comfortable position. 

With my cousin Tessa who I still maintain looks a lot like Leona Lewis. Unsurprisingly she has joined pageants and have done modeling as well. At our first night in Bicol we were crooned by impressive carolers- one group were even wearing a uniform and a different dance number to each Christmas song they sang. Tessa said if there were carolers who would prove to be disappointing we would open the gates and release all our dogs.

This is my dimpled cousin Nicole who has a modulated speaking voice whom though I haven't heard her do it yet, must be good in singing as well. One time when we didn't feel like watching a movie with others she was reading the Bible whilst I played cards and Utoy was playing games on my cell. She recounted interesting experiences to me. I discovered that she knows how to play volleyball that's why I would really bring by volleyball the next time we visit and we'll sure have a lot of fun.

Painless Bump

“I just saw a bus pass by with the combined names of him and me. It’s a sign. Something’s going to happen, I’m telling you.”

 “Baka naman imagination mo lang yun triggered by the recent teasing from our cousins.”

 “Ano ako gaga?”

This was the dialogue between my sister and I the day before I indeed saw him at a mall.

My sister and I bought coffee from the grocery at a near by mall and because my legs were sore from jogging earlier that day I opted to take the walkator instead of the few steps of stairs even if it would just serve a few moments of relief because of its short length. Then from the corner of my eye I saw him sitting with his younger sister on steps of the stairs located at the very side of the walkator. I shouted his name and when he looked at me, I yelled “Merry Christmas!” Even if it was already two days until New Year.

He aknowledged by looking at me. My thoughts were running fast. Because he didn’t seem to be enthusiastic to see me, I thought for a second to leave it like that. A momentay bumping into each other which would eventually leave us both into multiple what ifs. But then again I think it's just me. I then went for it - I turned around and went to him. He was eating green mango with bagoong with his two year old sister. I said, kamusta and tried to get the attention of his sister who did not return my hi's and was acting very guarded but still cute. He told me that it takes time for her little sister to get comfortable with strangers. He told me that the rest of his family were doing grocery and they were taking too long that's why they're there resting. He asked me what I was doing there too and after answering him I babbled about how I beat this lady by a few seconds to the last two packets of a granulated brand of coffee my Lola asked me to buy and when the lady asked if she could have the other one, I apologized and declined. He said that I should have given it to her. I told him I would be reprimanded but actually I was just feeling stingy.

After a few more babbling mostly on my part, I didn't want it to be awkward for the both of us so I said I had to go. I bid his little sister and him goodbye and went my way.

It's a little bit funny that encounter with him. I didn't feel like I wanted to rekindle something with him. I didn't feel any regret that there was nothing more between us. It was funny because as usual he was being very timid. I guess that's just the way he really is and I don't mind. He was still the very first person who got me all giddy inside.

We saw each other once more that same day. My sister and I were about to exit the mall when we saw him alone walking towards our direction. When we were near enough to hear each other I said, "You're following us." and he just smiled.