At the dining table, across a voracious reader animatedly relaying his book conquests, words abound with learning about that culture, the plot-twists, that man, the woman, and that creature.
I am looking down, staring at my food, fiddling with my spoon. Lifting my head, meeting his eyes, unbeknownst to him that my mind wandered elsewhere, my eyes intent, successful in seeming they care. I abhor doing this but It can't be helped, I would also like to give as much as take.
I pause. I wouldn't want someone adrift whilst I talk.
New to the land, to the office and me, that afternoon what separated him and me was a table, our food and hot green tea.
He majors in Finance and I couldn't even properly compute the division of the tab at hand. A natural klutz I even spilled the tea I was pouring unto his cup. The waitress feeling embarrassed for me, looked at me gently and I felt reassured thinking that it can't go any more bad.
I took an abortive pause. Steeped in what could be a date disaster, I quickly engaged him in a light dialogue.
I initiated it as a favor. Confused with how I felt at the time, dining was replete with rants and vents and this wasn't the first occasion. He's the intermediary between my thoughts and the guy in question. We both know what we have is platonic and for that I'm grateful.
I paused. I thought you can have males as friends after all.
Fairly new to me, I expressed interest in the proposition. Indiscriminate of the intention, I said, how can it hurt, it's spectating, talking and eating though can be done alone, I answered in the affirmative without hesitation.
Expressing hostility is not something I want to do but it was due to a provocation. I'm not cut to play games and that was the resolution.
I took a pause during the listening and I hesitated with what I saw.
An eminent rejector and an occasional rejectee, this is the attempt, an openness to what could be. I abjure the high probability that it might be time-wasted but I won't ever abrogate the chance, though small that a lasting connection is formed.
