“We are old and mature; we can talk about these things” says Ray in a loud voice, obviously directing the statement at me. He was justifying his vulgar language about a female celebrity on the cover of a men's magazine.
I don’t mind sexual jokes, especially with my girl friends, but coming from someone I barely know and with the object of the joke as me, it is just plain creepy.
I think it started with a personal question asked out of nowhere.
“Do you favor the idea of live-in?” asked Ray, to whom I answered, “I don’t know, but I’m sure my dad would kill me.” I fired the question back at him and to two other fellow employees at lunch, thinking to myself that it might just be a random question that would spark an intelligent discussion. The direction didn't head that way.
The stream of personal questions didn’t stop there. One time at the office, in front of other employees, he asked if I had a boyfriend and I answered, “No.” thinking that it might just be out of curiosity as this question was previously asked of me before by other employees. He then had a follow up question which was if I drink. I answered, “I do, but I don’t drink with men.” I uncomfortably asked why he was asking me these things but he just evaded the question.
Probably the most offending thing Ray did, to which I let slide because I would like to believe in the goodness of people, was when he maneuvered to sit beside me, got hold of my computer keyboard and said that he wanted to let me read something. Curious, I asked if it was about technology. He said that it was. When I finally saw the title of the article, I was irritated and put on an annoyed smile, read the article quick and then asked him, “So, what’s your point?” He then babbled an incongruous reply. The title of the article was 'The Problem with Virginity.'
There were two occasions that he complimented my outfit but instead of feeling flattered I felt creeped out, both times. The first one, he said that he appreciates what I’m wearing and that I should wear outfits like that more often. I told him, “Well after hearing that I think I might have to burn this top after I’ve used it.”
The second time, he said that he likes what I’m wearing and even offered unsolicited advice as to what shoes I should wear to match my top. He repeated his marvelous idea around three times that day and told others that what I needed was lipstick, a blush on and eyeliner and then I could pass for a rocker chick. I told him, “Well, pay me a large amount of money and then I’d do it.”
There were still many disturbing things he did, and after looking up the official description of sexual harassment at the United Nations website, it's just sad that what he did fell under sexual harassment.
I don’t plan to make a big fuss out of it, but I am ignoring him now, he has a younger sister after all and I will in the future talk some sense to him, somehow.
After all, it did come from his own mouth that 'we are old and mature' even if he doesn't have the slightest bit of idea what those two adjectives connote.
