Friday 4 May 2012

An Update

*Exhales deeply

To be inspiring or not to be inspiring.

I didn't write for a really long time because of that dilemma. Here I am just to get my thoughts out of my head or I'll go crazy. I mean it. There's this feeling in my chest wanting to burst. Unwritten emotions. Unexpressed thoughts. Unsaid feelings. Finally I get to sit down and write.

So it's May 4 and I made a pact with myself that I would make 2 articles a day starting this month and since it's the fourth day of the month I owe my own blog 8 articles to be posted today or I ain't sleeping. I haven't really thought about topics/themes to write about so here comes my brain to enumerate, in a jiffy  what I would write about tonight. Just to be organized and so as to achieve my goal.

So as. As much. I have got to stop using that phrase 'so as'. Reminds me of this former blockmate of mine that I hate. I may have gotten it from her.

Guide: (May or may not be in order)

  • Something I am really frustrated/angry about. Can be a person, phenomenon or food.
  • Something I really am passionate about and will continuously pursue.
  • A really rich experience.
  • A trivia. Something that's really interesting I may have heard/read/watched that I need to research on and react upon.
Geeze. Four more.

  • An improvement.
  • Something I am really looking forward to.
  • I got to write about a guy. I don't know who, but just to keep this blog spicy. Haha can't believe I said that. 
  • The commute to and fro Makati. This may be interesting - well for me, so that I'll have reference in the future.

At least I have direction now. 

I created this blog for myself mostly because I've just gotten used to typing rather than writing and it's easier to erase words, sentences, once I've realized that I'm not content with it. It's just much more practical. This blog is not about a specific topic. It's just about me. My thoughts. I really don't like sharing it to people because:

a. It's really not that impressive. There are a billion blogs out there that are much more interesting than mine. I once gave a talk on blogging and researching on the subject, I don't pass the 'successful blogger' category. Wasn't really the authoritative person to talk about the topic now was I. According to my research, blogs have to be updated daily. It has to generate traffic, thus having many followers and allows for comments. Also, it has to have a consistent theme.

b. Apart from mine being a personal diary because I just won't write in paper. I am too restrained in this blog because I know people who know me will easily find this. I'm not trying to be very secretive but I don't actually want to be caught bad mouthing someone I know.

c. This nagging pressure that I have to be inspiring keeps getting to me. When I think of being inspiring, I think about kids. I think about people younger than me that can actually benefit from my writing. I love kids but I really am not all that goody-two-shoes all the time. I am a good person but I also feel like murdering people sometimes. Well, not really. Okay sometimes, but that's because I am a bit broken. Go figure. I do try my best to be sane, normal, to be loving and to just function excellently.

Well here goes nothing.